Meditation for March 12, 2008
From The Rev. Peter A. Munson
Psalm 130
1 Out of the depths have I called to you, O Lord.
2 Lord, hear my voice;
let you ears consider well the voice of my supplication.
3 If you, Lord, were to note what is done amiss,
O Lord, who could stand?
4 But there is forgiveness with you;
therefore you shall be revered.
5 I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word is my hope.
6 My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning,
more than watchmen for the morning.
7 O Israel, wait for the Lord,
for with the Lord there is mercy;
8 With him there is plenteous redemption
and he shall redeem Israel from all their sins.
Wait for the Lord
Psalm 130 was our psalm for church this past Sunday. It is also one of the psalms appointed for today. Twice in 72 hours - perhaps the Lord is trying to get our attention. He has my attention. I woke up today feeling burdened, heavy. I read the morning devotional that I have been using since the beginning of the year. Today it was a meditation on Jesus hanging from the cross and saying, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Jesus was quoting words from Psalm 22, which we hear ever year on Good Friday.) I dont' feel forsaken or abandoned by God today. I just woke up feeling heavy, that's all. Is that a bad thing? Our culture would say "yes" to that question. "Don't feel bad or sad or heavy. Here, take a pill. You'll feel better!" Or have a drink. Eat something. Go buy something. Go see a movie. Try to cover it up or deny what you're feeling in some way. Who ever decided that feeling sad or mad or heavy or burdened was a bad thing? Maybe that is what I am supposed to be feeling this day. But I digress...
One thing I know. There is a reason that I read Scripture every day. There are some days when it is hard for me to pray. But I never find it a chore to read Scripture. For when I open up the Good Book, there always seems to be something for me there. No matter what's going on or what I am feeling, it always seems that God is there. God is revealed to me through Scripture. God meets me through Scripture. It might not be in the first passage I read. I meet read the first lesson, for example, and nothing much seems to happen inside of me. But then I go on to the Epistle, or to the Psalm, or to the Gospel lesson for the day, and somewhere, somehow - in one of the lessons - I hear God speak. Today it was through Psalm 130.
"Out of the depths have I called to you, O Lord." That's me today. The Psalmist seems to know where I am today. He (she?) has been there, too. Lord, I am calling to you out of the depths. I think to myself, "Hmmm... what else did the Psalmist say in this psalm? Let me keep reading..." And so I read some more. "If you, Lord, were to note what is done amiss, O Lord, who could stand?" I make a deep connection there, too. It may be something I've done. It may be, just as likely, something that I haven't done, that I realize I should have done. Either way, I miss the mark. I fall short of who God calls me to be. And with the Psalmist, I give thanks that our God is a God of mercy and of forgiveness and of "plenteous redemption." (verses 4, 7, and 8)
I keep reading. "I wait for the Lord; my soul waits for him; in his word is my hope." Yes, exactly. I'm wating for you, Lord. I'm waiting for you to break in to my consciousness again, and bring me a word that shifts my thinking, shifts my perspective, or just helps me appreciate where I am in the moment. If nothing else, I am waiting for you to come alongside of me and assure me that what I am going through at this time - whatever it is - is okay, because you are with me. "In his word is my hope." I have found that to be true - over and over and over again. And so, again this morning, I look for a word from God. Am I not beginning to hear that word, and rest in that word, as I mull over this psalm?
I continue to read. "My soul waits for the Lord, more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning." I think about one of the little things I know about the Psalms. When something is repeated, it is done so for emphasis. I think about how dark things are in the wee hours of the morning, especially when there is no moonlight, and you are far away from city lights. What is that expression? "It's always darkest just before the dawn." I think about a watchman, on a cold night, waiting for the first suggestion of light to appear, waiting for his shift of duty to be over. I remember a time when I climbed Longs Peak in the middle of the night, so that we could be on top before sunrise. I remember looking east from the summit toward the Twin Sisters, and how very cold it was, even though it was the middle of the summer. I remember waiting that morning... waiting and watching... for that first sign of light. And the Psalmist says, "My soul waits for the Lord, more than watchmen for the morning."
My physical body wanted a sign of light that morning, many years ago, when I was on top of Longs Peak. Because I knew that a little while after the first light, there would be some warmth! (Not to mention the beauty of the sunrise, and more light for seeing the route on the way down.) But the Psalmist goes even deeper. There are times when our soul is waiting. Not just our physical bodies, but our soul, too. Our soul, our spirit - has times when it longs for the presence of God - even more than watchmen waiting for the morning to come.
Truth be told, this is what I long for, and wait for, more than anything else. Some folks long for that trip to Hawaii. (That would be nice, I admit!) Others long for more money or a better job or more this or more that. What I long for, what I wait for, more than anything else, is a sign of the presence of the Lord. It may come to me through Scripture. It may come to me through the presence of one of you. It may come to me in the silence, or as I wait for the sun to come up as I huddle up with my friends for warmth and shiver and laugh with them on the top of Longs Peak. But what I wait for, more than anything, is not a what at all. It's a Who. And so I forge a special bond with the Psalmist, a bond that spans 3,000 years or so, but which is made in just a few minutes of contemplation. "Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord...in his word is my hope... My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning... With him there is plenteous redemption."
I come seeking the Lord as I read Scripture. I wait for Him. I wait for His word to me. I wait for a sign that He is with me. I am not disappointed. I can move again. I don't feel quite so burdened. If He were to mark what I have done amiss, how could I stand? And yet, in Him and through Him and because of Him, I am able to stand. I stand and move and go on with my day, thankful for his word, thankful for how he moved - many, many centuries ago - in the life of the person who wrote Psalm 130.