Meditation for January 16, 2008

From The Rev. Peter A. Munson

Psalm 13

1 How long, O Lord?  Will you forget me forever?

     How long will you hide your face from me?

2  How long must I bear pain in my soul,

     and have sorrow in my heart all the day long?

3  Consider and answer me, O Lord my God!

     Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death,

4  and my enemy will say, "I have prevailed";

      my foes will rejoice because I am shaken.

5  But I trusted in your steadfast love;

      my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.

6  I will sing to the Lord,

      because the Lord has dealt bountifully with me.

How Long?  Trusting God During the Painful Times

"How long, O Lord?  Will you forget me forever?" (verse 1)  The Psalmist puts it so well.  Isn't this exactly how we feel when we are going through a very difficult time, and we want the pain (whether physical, emotional, relational, or spiritual) to end immediately, and we experience God as being absent - that God has forgotten all about us? The Renovare Spiritual Formation Bible offers this comment on Psalm 13:1-4:  "Feeling forgotten does not mean that we are forgotten, but these phrases are honest reflections of how we feel when we're impatient and desperate."

As I've said before, if you want to find honesty before God, if you want to find a book in the Bible where someone will say to God whatever he/she is thinking or feeling, turn to the Psalms.  In the Psalms you find it all - anger, the desire for revenge, paranoia, joy, longing, impatience, deep trust, sadness and despair, and just about any other feeling or condition a human being can experience.

It is not so unusual, after we have moved through a painful time, for us to be able to reflect back on all of it and figure out what we learned, and where God was in the midst of those times.  But when we are in the throes of those times, when we're in the middle of the tornado, that is another story.  How long, O Lord?  Have you forgotten me?  Where are you now when I need you?  The Psalmist does not beat around the bush.  "Consider and answer me, O Lord my God!  Give light to my eyes..." (verses 3-4)  I need to know where you are, Lord!  I need to hear from you - now!  And then the Psalmist thinks about his enemies - those who do not believe in God.  Oh no, he thinks - they will add to my difficulties.  "Where is this God of yours now, huh?"  He says to God, "My foes will rejoice [exult or maybe even gloat] because I am shaken." (vese 4)

There is an obvious shift in the tone of the psalm, beginning in verse 5. "But I trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation."  What has happened?  In the midst of the pain, in the midst of the feelings of being abandoned by God, in the midst of his panic, the Psalmist suddenly stops and remembers all the ways that the Lord has been there for him in the past. And what he realizes is that the Lord is faithful to him.  The Hebrew word is hesed... translated "steadfast love'. It is a word that combines two of the key traits of God - faithfulness and love.

What happens when the Psalmist takes a moment to think about how the Lord has been there for him - again and again - in the past?  His entire perspective changes, and his emotions immediately begin to shift.  "My heart shall rejoice in your salvation.  I will sing to the Lord, because the Lord has dealt bountifully with me." (verses 5-6)  He quickly moves from desperation and loneliness and panic to a place of recognizing that God is somehow with him in this terrible situation, and because of that, he is able to remember past blessings, rejoice, and even sing!  Is the Psalmist totally unstable, because his emotions are all over the map?  I would say, "No, that's not it."  When he remembers that God is close at hand, and that God has helped him through other difficult times in the past, then his emotions shift.  He was honest in sharing his feelings of panic and desperation and the sense of having been abandoned by God.  Now he is honest in his expression of gratitude and joy, at suddenly being in a more grounded and lighter place.

A final thought on the word "salvation" in verse 5:  The context of this verse reminds us that we can talk of Salvation with a capital S, i.e., our eternal salvation with God, the idea of being saved from a past life without God and now moving into a totally different realm that is all about life with God.  However, we can also talk about all the "lower case s" instances of salvation.  Perhaps this is the meaning of the word in verse 5.  Every time that we experience God coming alongside of us and helping us through a specific situation, every time we experience God showing up - maybe unexpectedly - just when we needed a little boost or pick-me-up, every time we experience some kind of healing, whether that be within ourselves or in a relationship - those instances are instances of God's salvation, too.  It brings to mind a former Archbishop of Canterbury's response to the question:  Have you been saved?  (Can you imagine asking that question to the Archbishop of Canterbury?  That's a whole different matter...)  Reportedly, the Archbishop replied:  "I have been saved; I am being saved; I will be saved."  You might say that is a very Anglican response - because it is!  But it is also the response of someone who understands that God's saving acts are ongoing.  God's saving acts are known by us continually, because the God of steadfast love keeps showing up, and keeps doing things that "save" us.

And for that we can rejoice and sing and count our blessings - even during the most difficult times.  We can continue to put our trust in God, because our God continues to reach out to be with us.  Our God continues to love us.  Our God continues to save us.  Thanks be to God!